


At Second Glance

by Ciprus



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, First Time, Or rather first time since the first time, Vanity Fest, Vanity Fest 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 01:11:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16231094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciprus/pseuds/Ciprus
Summary: Vanessa doesn't like Charity, but she can't stay away either. Their first time after their first time.Written for Vanityfest, day one: Firsts.





	At Second Glance

**Author's Note:**

> First time dipping my toe in the land of Vanity fic, though to be honest I've had WiP's in my docs since last November and #vanityfest made me take the plunge and post something. Thanks for that! Not a native English speaker, so there might be some errors in there. They're entirely my own.

”I’m sorry about before. You know, winding you.”

”Isn’t that what you do?” Vanessa asks with a frown. An apology from Charity Dingle is the last thing she expected this evening, or ever.

”I do a lot of things. I’m free later if you want me to fill you in.”

Vanessa should tell Charity to bugger off, but she can’t think over the thunder of her own heartbeat. She just walks off, shaken by the offer.

Charity enjoys messing with her, Vanessa knows that. She can barely set foot in the Woolpack without getting a meaningful glance or a bit of innuendo from behind the counter, and that’s just when Charity is being subtle.

Vanessa squirms in her seat, trying to muster up attention for Rhona and her Paddy woes, not able to stop herself from glancing over at Charity who still lingers behind the bar. Vanessa can feel Charity’s eyes on her from across the room. She is being somewhat discreet, by Charity standards at least, but there’s no mistaking that she’s _looking_. Something tells Vanessa that Charity’s offer was not just one of her usual barbs, it was honestly meant.

”You want a top-up on that?” Vanessa asks Rhona, who’s fidgeting with her empty pint.

”Might as well”, Rhona mutters.

Charity dramatically brushes past Chas to meet Vanessa. ”What can I get you?”

”Thought it was you day off?” Chas jabs.

”Thought you wanted me to help?” Charity hisses.

”That’d be a first, but go on then.” Chas shakes her head and returns her attention to Paddy at the end of the bar.

Charity rolls her eyes and leans on her arms on the counter, closer to Vanessa. ”Can you believe those two? All over each other like a pair of teenagers.” She laughs and makes a gag noise.

”Just give me two pints, please.”

”Coming up”, Charity purrs with a wink.

Vanessa curses her cheeks for blossoming so easily. Charity can see it, if the sparkle in her eyes is any indication.

”Looking good tonight, babe”, Charity says while pulling one pint. ”I like the hair. It’s very… pouffy.”

”Do you ever stop?” Vanessa snaps. Typical Charity to make a line sound like a come on and an insult rolled into one.

”Why? Do you want me to?” Charity asks, her eyes widening. ”That blush says otherwise, babe.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes and reaches for her purse, but Charity puts up a hand to stop her. ”On the house.”

Vanessa mumbles her thanks and as she walks away, she can actually feel Charity’s gaze on her skin now, making every hair on her body rise, and she can’t _not_ look back as she slides onto her chair.

Charity’s self assured little smirk as their eyes meet makes Vanessa bristle.

It’s infuriating. She had decided that their thing was a one-off, for several _very_ good reasons, but especially after Charity saw fit to out her in front of the whole village. But the outrage about that has faded, the humiliation almost forgotten while the memory of that one time still keeps her awake at night.

When Charity hadn’t been standing behind the bar with that usual, annoyingly smug expression on her face after the christening, Vanessa had actually been disappointed.

She is proper losing it. There’s literally nothing she likes about Charity. _Not a thing_ , she tells herself. Charity is crude, mean, full of herself. So why on earth must _Charity_ be the one she dreams of at night alone in her bed? It’s either insanity or some kind of divine punishment.

It annoys her, the way Charity manages to get under her skin, and the way she seems so sure Vanessa will come running back for more soon enough. The memories flood back, how Charity had been patient with her, almost sweet, so different from how Vanessa had expected her to be. How everything had felt good and right, until Vanessa’s nerves got the better of her and Charity proved to Vanessa what she already knew, that she’d been a fool to ever get into her bed in the first place.

Vanessa takes a big gulp of her pint, trying to drown her frustration. No matter all the arguments against, there’s no denying she wants it. She doesn’t want to want it, but when Charity sends her yet another heated look across the pub, something inside Vanessa just snaps. Ill-advised or not, she doesn’t _care_.

”So what do you say V, yours or mine?” Charity asks teasingly, when Vanessa leans against the bar again after abandoning a sulking Rhona and a half empty pint at the table.

Charity looks so conceited Vanessa almost turns on her heel. Almost. ”Mine.”

An expression of surprise flickers quickly over Charity’s face, but it’s soon replaced with a salacious grin. ”You don’t muck about, do you? See you in ten?”

Vanessa nods slightly, overcome with a strange mix of defeat and excitement. She has been trying to ignore this pull Charity has over her for weeks, and she has no energy left to fight it. It’s clearly not going away.

Back at home, Vanessa doesn’t even have time to change out of the clothes from her callout before a sudden rap on the door makes her jump.

”Hiya”, Charity says and strolls inside, looking just as confident as ever.

And now that Vanessa allows herself to look at Charity properly again after all these weeks of resentment, the beauty of the woman in front of her almost knocks her over.

”You’re keen. Did you run or something?” Vanessa asks irritably.

”Eh?”

”You said ten minutes. I barely had time to close the door behind me.” She can hear the hostile tone in her own voice, which isn’t very nice at all, but she can’t help it.

Charity shrugs. ”Maybe I was worried you’d change your mind?” She moves closer to Vanessa, touching the hem of her shirt. ”So, have you?” she asks, her gaze hypnotic in that way that makes Vanessa feel completely exposed.

”No”, Vanessa husks.

Charity smirks and Vanessa wonders if that is her permanent expression. ”Can’t blame a girl for wondering. You have been running a bit cold on me lately.”

”Can you blame me?” Vanessa huffs, instantly ready for that discussion if it comes to it.

”S’pose not.” Charity drops her gaze, looking anywhere but at Vanessa. ”Look, I know I probably shouldn’t have told everyone you’re gay, right. My mouth runs away with me sometimes.”

”Wait, was that an apology?” Vanessa gasps in mock surprise. She is actually surprised, genuinely. And quite pleased too. ”Two apologies in one day. Whatever happened to you, are you ill?” she snarks and puts her hand on Charity’s forehead, checking her temperature.

Charity’s eyes glimmer. ”I _have_ been feeling rather hot lately”, she says and waggles her eyebrows.

”Wow. That’s a terrible line.” Vanessa can’t help but laugh. She can no longer remember all of the reasons why this is a bad idea.

”Oh please, stop acting like you mind!” Charity rolls her eyes dramatically, but her smile isn’t cocky anymore, just amused. They are standing so close now, Vanessa can feel Charity’s body heat radiating towards her. ”We had a good time, didn’t we?”

Vanessa feels her whole body flush hot at the mere thought. ”Yeah”, she breathes. There’s no way she’ll give Charity the satisfaction of knowing it was the best time she’s ever had, and that she hasn’t stopped thinking about it since.

”So stop playing hard to get, babe”, Charity murmurs as she steps even closer into Vanessa’s space, their bodies almost touching now. ”We both know you’re not.”

A part of Vanessa still wants to talk back, but the truth of the matter is, when it comes to Charity Dingle, she has been nothing but easy.

There’s a question in Charity’s kiss that Vanessa instantly answers by winding her hands in Charity’s hair and pulling her closer. She can’t help herself, she’s been wanting this again for too long. Her body is practically vibrating with relief, a tension she had been unaware of melting away from her shoulders.

Charity’s grip grows tighter when she feels Vanessa respond, and when she opens her mouth to let Vanessa in, Charity lets out a sigh that echoes through Vanessa’s entire body. God, she _needs_ this. Even though it’s Charity (or maybe because it _is_?), Vanessa is completely overcome with want.

Charity’s lips are soft yet hungry, and it’s only a few seconds before Vanessa falls back onto the couch, pulling Charity down with her.

Time blurs and stops. It’s just like the first time in the Woolpack cellar, when they’d kissed for hours and nothing else, and Vanessa felt like her clothes would burn right off. When her fingers had eventually slipped hesitantly over the button in Charity’s trousers, Charity had stopped her. ”Another time, when you’re a bit more sober, yeah?” she’d growled, like the very idea of stopping physically pained her. The tiny part of Vanessa’s brain still holding on to sanity knew Charity was right, but such consideration wasn’t something Vanessa had expected from Charity, especially not when she was so obviously turned on. It had made Vanessa smile and kiss Charity harder until she made all those delicious sounds again.

”This sofa is ridiculously small”, Charity complains eventually, while trailing her mouth down the slope of Vanessa’s neck. ”Fits you though.”

”Shut up.” Vanessa grins and kisses Charity again. ”Upstairs?”

”Thought you’d never ask.”

It’s not like last time, when Vanessa had moved like in a trance at first, letting herself be led by Charity. They rush up the stairs, a tangle of grasping hands and flowing hair. As they reach the landing, Charity’s jacket is at the bottom of the stairs and Vanessa’s shirt is dangling halfway off as Charity presses her up against the bedroom door, cupping her breasts.

”You’re so fit”, Charity murmurs, the compliment out of her mouth before she can turn it into something backhanded and double edged.

Vanessa lets her head fall back with a thud against the door, as Charity’s teeth scrape back down her neck. She can barely form a coherent thought anymore, but her hands start tugging at Charity’s blouse, desperate for skin.

She’s aching to touch, to feel, and she pulls Charity up for another kiss. When she runs her fingers over Charity’s fly this time, she isn’t stopped. Instead, Charity reaches down to help tear it open.

Charity is hot and wet agains Vanessa’s fingertips, and she dies a little when she feels exactly how much Charity wants this. As she touches her with a bit more purpose, Charity sags against her, suddenly weak at the knees, bracing herself against the door on either side of Vanessa.

”Fuck. Vanessa.” Charity moves her hips against Vanessa’s hand and Vanessa can’t stop staring. Charity looks like a valkyrie fresh from the fight, her hair falling like curtains between them, her eyes half lidded and dark, her breath heavy and strained. Her eyes flutter closed when Vanessa circles her fingers. She has never seen anyone sexier.

Charity’s breathing is speeding up quickly, like she’s getting close, and Vanessa can’t have that. A fully dressed shag agains a door won’t be nearly enough after all this time. She removes her hand to Charity’s weak protests and pulls her inside the bedroom. The bed isn’t made up, there’s piles of folded laundry on the side that’s never used. Charity carelessly shoves everything off the bed before pulling Vanessa down with her. It’s not easy to get naked when they can’t stop kissing, but they manage to squirm out most of their clothes before Vanessa starts to trail kisses down towards a breast.

It’s like the tables have turned a little. Vanessa isn’t the one following this time, she’s leading this dance, and Charity can’t seem to help but follow. She gasps when Vanessa’s mouth closes on her nipple, already breathless. They’re both impatient now, after working up to this slowly on the sofa downstairs, and Vanessa lets her mouth travel lower down across Charity’s belly, enjoying the way goosebumps rise in her wake.

”Can I, um?” Vanessa trails her fingers against the lace of Charity’s knickers.

Charity raises herself on her elbows, her eyes hooded when looking down at Vanessa. ”If you like.”

Vanessa flushes. She would very much like, but she isn’t quite satisfied with the answer. ”Yeah, but do you?”

”Give it a go and we’ll see.”

There’s a challenge in there, and Vanessa is up for it. She doesn’t bother pointing out to Charity that she’s never gone down on a woman before, they already had a similar conversation about Vanessa’s lack of experience and it didn’t seem to interest Charity then.

”Let me know if it’s not—”

”I will, yeah.” Charity nods urgently, and lifts her hips so Vanessa can drag her knickers down her legs. Vanessa stares for a few seconds, because Jesus is Charity ever soaking wet, and then she just goes for it, nerves completely forgotten.

Vanessa isn’t sure why, maybe it’s the excessive amount of time she has spent thinking about this, but it feels just right in a way that is new and exciting. The warm softness of Charity, the smell and taste of her, the way her fingernails rake against Vanessa’s shoulder blades - it’s all new but somehow perfectly familiar too. She has replayed every touch and sigh from that first time in her mind a thousand times, so she has at least some idea of what works for Charity, and sure enough, she hears Charity’s breath hitch and a hand comes down to cradle the back of her head.

”Ness”, Charity gasps, her thighs trembling. ”Jesus, that’s…”

Vanessa marvels at the ways she can make Charity react, that the way Vanessa loses herself in it seems to make Charity come apart at the seams. The feel of Charity under her mouth makes her head spin, the sounds she coaxes out of Charity makes her feel a thousand meters tall. Charity’s nails scraping across her scalp, urging her on; the sounds she makes, the way her hips chase Vanessa’s mouth - it’s all so intoxicating Vanessa all but loses her mind.

When Charity comes, Vanessa can actually _feel_ it against her tongue, and she keeps kissing her softly throughout. And she doesn’t stop even after it’s over.

”Oh, _God_ ”, Charity moans, her hips shaking uncontrollably now. She grips Vanessa’s head tighter. ”Okay, yeah, keep going.”

The desperation in Charity’s voice isn’t lost on Vanessa, and she doesn’t need to be told twice. In no time at all Charity comes again, longer and louder this time.

Vanessa is dizzy as she crawls up lay down beside Charity, who is covering her eyes with her hand, panting.

”Wow”, Charity laughs, and looks at Vanessa through hazy eyes. ”You’re something else, aren’t you?” she murmurs, almost unknowingly, dragging her thumb across Vanessa’s wet bottom lip before leaning in to kiss her. Charity sighs contentedly, tasting herself on Vanessa’s lips.

”Don’t have to sound so surprised”, Vanessa mutters into the kiss, hiding how elated she is about the praise.

Charity laughs again, and it’s such a nice, genuine sound that Vanessa doesn’t think she’s heard anything like it from Charity before. ”It’s the good kind of surprised, babe.” She rolls on top of Vanessa in a leisurely move. ”I wasn’t sure if last time was just beginners luck, but I’m saying defs not on that.”

There is surely something clever or biting she could say to that, if Charity atop her hadn’t reminded her that she’s a wet, throbbing mess. The soft weight of Charity’s body on her own is intoxicating. The entire front of her knickers are soaked through and Charity gasps when she cups her hand over them.

”God, Ness”, she groans as her fingers slip under the knickers and through the wetness she finds there.

Just that light touch is enough to make Vanessa whimper, she is that sensitive. Charity’s fingers feel amazing, her lazy touch both frustrating and perfect.

”So, how do you want it, babe? Soft and slow?” Charity whispers, while nipping gently at Vanessa’s earlobe. ”Or do you like it rough?”

The seductive tone almost does Vanessa’s head in, but not so much that she doesn’t understand that Charity is flipping the power balance in her own favour. And Vanessa’s into it.

”Lady’s choice”, Vanessa replies, and a predatory grin appears across Charity’s mouth.

”I’ll do as I like then, yeah?” Charity bites at Vanessa’s earlobe again, sharper this time.

—

Vanessa is very relieved she doesn’t have any roommates left and that Johnny is having a sleepover at Tracy’s. She still tried to bite down on to one of the pillows for modesty towards the neighbors, but Charity immediately tossed it out of reach.

”Don’t. I want to hear exactly how good this feels”, Charity had demanded and then proceeded to push Vanessa so hard over the edge she’ll definitely have a sore throat in the morning.

Now Vanessa’s heart rate refusing to slow down as she recovers on Charity’s arm. She is completely spent, even her fingertips feel numb. Yet again, she is amazed at how Charity can command her body so completely. Vanessa is used to have to work for good sex, it has rarely been all that from the get go, so for it to work so well right away like this is a pleasant surprise. She already longs to know how it would be when they’ve learned even more about each other.

It’s actually alright, laying here beside Charity. Not as weird as she expected it to be. The first time, as soon as she’d woken up the next morning, she had panicked and a tidal wave of worry had swept her away: about the meaning of it all, about the carefully constructed image she had of herself, about her dad, Charity’s motivations… She couldn’t wait to get out of there. Now she feels content to linger for a moment. It’s nice to have someone hold her, it’s been a long time. It’s nice that it’s Charity doing the holding, actually.

”Well”, Charity says and props her head up on her hand. ”That was fun.”

Vanessa can’t help but chuckle at the self satisfied look on Charity’s face. It’s definitely more endearing than annoying now. ”And you’re not half smug about it, are you.”

”Oh babe, don’t tell me I haven’t earned the right.” Charity grins, and they kiss lazily. Eventually, Charity breaks their kiss, looking a moment too long at Vanessa before rolling away. ”Well, I think I’d best be off”, she says, starting to look around for her clothes spread all over the room.

”You’re going already?” Vanessa hears the disappointment in her own voice, surprising herself. She’s actually not in a big hurry to make Charity leave. She isn’t bad company, when she’s not busy sticking the knife in.

”I won’t overstay my welcome. Can’t have you sneak out of your own house in the morning, can we.” Charity turns her back to Vanessa while buttoning her trousers.

”Fair point”, Vanessa concedes sheepishly. She watches silently as Charity puts on her bra and shirt, admiring the curve of her back. ”Can I ask you something?”

When Charity turns towards her, a change has come over her face. ”Don’t worry, I won’t go telling tales about you this time around. Don’t want people to know you’ve gone slumming again, do you?” There’s a strain to her smile now, and there’s a hard edge to her voice. The softer side to her that Vanessa got to glimpse again tonight is nowhere to be found.

”That’s not what I was going to say”, Vanessa protests, puzzled by the abrupt shift in the mood.

”What, then?” Charity asks impatiently.

Vanessa almost doesn’t say it, because it suddenly feels like she’s setting herself up for rejection. ”I was just wondering if you wanted to do this again sometime.”

Charity looks at Vanessa for a long moment, like she cannot decide how to respond. Vanessa can almost see the snarky retorts bombarding Charity’s brain, but when she finally speaks she says, ”Yeah, alright. But this isn’t some hearts and flowers kind of thing, okay? So don’t go getting any ideas.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes. ”As if.”

”We agree then, yeah? No strings, no problems?”

”Sounds perfect to me.”

”Good.” Charity’s expression softens a little. ”No need to get up babe, I can find my way down”, she says as Vanessa starts to shuffle around the bed. ”I used to live here, you know.”

Vanessa doesn’t think she knew that, but the time for small talk seems well passed. ”Well, okay then.”

”Okay”, Charity repeats, her hand lingering on the door knob, and it’s almost a bit awkward. ”I’ll text you.”

”Yeah, fine”, Vanessa replies noncommittally, because that is exactly how she feels about it.

Charity nods and slips out the door and as she listens to her feet hammer down the stairs, Vanessa reclines back on the bed with a sigh. She isn’t sure what made Charity rush out in such a hurry. Last time she’d been happy to keep going well into the early hours of the morning. Vanessa reckons she won’t ever understand what goes on in Charity Dingle’s head.

Charity might be moody and erratic, but the sex is the best Vanessa has ever had and if she knows herself, she isn’t quite done with indulging in it just yet. It’s like she’s just started scratching the surface of something huge, not that it has _anything_ to do with Charity specifically. It’s probably just the woman thing, the gay awakening or whatever’s happening to her after years - decades if she’s honest - of skirting around the issue, of shoving it to the deepest darkest corner of her mind and locking it away there until it finally came crashing out of there during her drunken encounter with Charity in the Woolpack cellar.

It’s actually the perfect set up, Vanessa thinks. They’re both adults who has set firm boundaries of what this is supposed to be. They’ll both get what they want, just amazing sex and non of the complicated stuff. The risk of Charity getting attached seems less than zero. And Vanessa doesn’t even like Charity that much anyway, so all that’s fine. Just some fun time exploring, and then they’ll both move on to whatever comes next. Apart.

Yes, this is perfect. Just what she wants. No strings, no problems.

—

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @blurryoz


End file.
